Always d unwanted one. Any gal will be btr den me . I'm jus a nobody . Anyone can play wif me . Thanks 

lesson learnt

No one in this world will always treat you like princess or prince forever. I once believe you will change for me but i don't think so now. I once believe love but now where are there? I will love myself more from now on cause no one will really care. 

Once i wish to enjoy every moment with my love but they never really want to spend time with me. Maybe i'm too sticky. i will spend more time with myself then with you.

I once want to enjoy the view of sunset and sun raise with the one i love but he was too busy with his life and after we broke up he brought his new girlfriend to enjoy the things i wanted so much. 

Current one. I told him i wanted to go eat something new yet he was there with his friend enjoying the food i wanted. 

I was once so depend on you now I will learn to be alone. Do everything alone. Everything there will be first time doing. I will learn from my mistake. I really don't know if i stay is really a good choice as you show me you don't care about us anymore. You even keep doing things i don't like. I guess we both had changed. 

Lesson learnt:

Not to depend on others too much. Spend more time with myself. No one will ever really care how you feel cause everyone is selfish. 

US

i know we are drifting apart. i know you are just running away from me. i know you don't want to see me or even contact me. understood. i wont find you again , even if there is urgent matters. i will learn to survive by my own. you are just pushing me away. maybe it's a sign that you really don't want me any more. i will learn. i know you had been contacting some girls. even if i ask you also wont admit it. should i continue to stay or leave? am i really can survive with out you? is there still love between us ? i really don't know. anyone can tell me what should i do to improve this situation? i really don't want to leave, i don't want to be alone again. can everything back to how we used to be? i wish there is nothing wrong with us.

I hav so much to say but whenever I'm wif u i became speechless. I hav feelings too . Y always ignore me ? Y always fierce me ? I jus Wan to talk to u. I jus Wan to noe wad is happening ard u. But u always nvr Wan to tell me. Nvr Wan to share ur things wif me . I missed those time whr u will tell me everything n we can talk for hrs but nw we hardly talk plus u always dun Wan tell me . Even if I'm beside u I dun even noe wad r u thinking about. Always ask me to fuck off dun irritated u dun touch u. U r d only person I Wan to talk to I Wan to noe more about u . I noe u r stress but idk wad stress is it. Told u I dun like u to do something yet u always do . Baby is ours y u nvr help to tc ? I Nid rest oso. I Wan to go out oso. Y u cannot help? We Long time nvr talk le Sia. When can we have small talk again ? Waiting for it to happen....... Dun think it will happen

Alr told u I dun alike u to go but u still go. Yeah of cus la there got gals to c n touch ma. U like wad. Can even hav sex wif u . I'm jus nobody. Keep goin lo.  Will leave soon

Lovebite

On 11 Jan nite I came home n he wasn't at home n after he came home sleep awhile n went out again. He got d lovebite on dat day n tell me it's other day cus he went drinking wif fwen 3x Tis week when I'm nt ard. After when he went out I checked his clothes n I smelt ladies perfume n dat nite we had sex n I saw dat n he told me its I make but I didn't den he said dat day went drinking wif fwen n he fallen asleep n he didn't noe it. Sry I dun buy dat story I'm jus dun wan to quarrel again . Cus dat nite u came bak woodlands quite early but nvr come home I guess u went her Hse ba . If nt ur bed skills won't improve oso. Still dare to say is u watch porn n u alr noe how to last longer in sex but y previously u didn't do it ? All r bullshits. U even went out wif other gal when I'm taking care of baby . Asked u whr u went n u didn't say meaning nt even went shopping n eating Liao lo it must b something else n u didn't wan me to noe. Asked u so many questions n u say dunno but when I ask when hav lovebite n u remember wow.

After I came bak although everything looks normal but I still can't believe u. So many things to suspect . Ur fone nvr leave ur sight. 

Angry

It's hard for me to believe dat u had noe 2 new things about sex . U nvr used to noe how to last long during sex and how to ride u. After quarrel for about 2 months n Tis is wad u show me . Cool n u said u noe all these things long ago but we had been tgt for how long ? 1yr plus n u nvr show all these . N one more thing is u went to pub n came home wif a lovebite on ur neck n d only thing u tell me is u fallen asleep b u dunno someone gave u lovebite. Yeah all these things sound so normal uh . 

So desperate for gals n keep texting other gal plus say u r single when u r nt. Seriously am I stupid or maybe I jus dun wan to wake up . 

I always believe in u but r u saying d truth idk. U say u n mx went movie n he has free tickets for ip man but he still used his MasterCard for discount. Yea went out wif other gals n jus anyhow bomb ur fwen . D moment u said ya mx I alr noe it's nt him . It's ok la u like her den go ba I can't do anything . No wonder u keeps wanting me to leave 

I really dunno wad should I do ? Wad I do to deserve Tis?! Seriously who am I to do? Am I jus ur punching bag ? I'm human being nt punching bag !! Within 6 days n it happened again . Ya la everything my fault lo wad ever I do u oso will say wrong . 

Nobody

I'm jus a nobody to u who can hit me , ignore me. Am I really ur wife? Seriously I dun no. Who can tell me wad can I do? Y do I have to go through tis? Who can save me ? 

Nvm la . Since u like to tell others ur things n my things den go tell ba I won't tell u my things any more . Say go find fwen slack den their gf come nid entertain uh . Since u like to talk to gals den go lo. Say a bit jiu nt happy nvm I won't tell U my things . Nt worth d quarrel . U oso dun love me anymore . Tell u nt to do yet still do . Nvm la . Everything my fault lo

I'm jus a nobody whr u can say go away n dun follow me . Seriously , was an I to u ?! Y should I listen to u ?! Y am I still staying here ?! Y am I crying ?! I really dun understand !! Anyone can explain to me ?? Or am I jus overthinking?

Lesson learnt

In Tis world no one will help u except urself . No point asking someone to help cus everyone is selfish . No point hurting urself cus no one will care . No point depend on someone cus dat someone may betray u hurt u n destroy u . I've learnt my lesson . Only myself won't betray myself . I hav my own life to live . Y should I care wad other ppl say or how they act . 

Nt ur family member forever won't be de . I will work hard to earn my own flat . 

We had been tgt how long n u still dunno wad I will eat meh ?! When I eat white de.  Knn still can say I say . Dun eat btr

Baby baby fair at expo

Went to expo on 14 June 2015 to buy jamie's stuff. We bought baby pram n avent single pump set. Almost half of d money were spent on these 2 items !!

I'm really happy dat hubby really buy me d pump as d pump is quite ex.

I hope d pram is good cus is I choose . I hope they will like it oso cus I oso nvr ask for their opinion . So far d pram is still ok.

Jamie is about 1 month old. I'm really happy !!

1st baby born .

On 19 may 2015 , Jamie Toh was born. She was 2.865kg. Wad a big sized baby. She was very guai. I went in d deliver suit ard 1pm+ n delivered her at 3.20pm.
Morning ard 9+ d pain already started n it jus gets more n more pain n getting closer each time!! About to labour d pain was unbearable, it feels like u r goin to poop but it's a very big poop dat nid a lot of strength to push it out !! If there were camera in d suit I really wanna look at d playback as how I managed to gave birth. It must b very terrifying to c it .
After delivered I was able to c Jamie n she didn't cry when I carry her !!

1st day home n she is still adapting d new environment . But she still can eat a lot !! D day b4 we discharged she can eat up to 1 1/2 bottles of formula !! Wow big eater !! Same as her dad! Like father like daughter !! Wahahaha

On 21 may finally I hav milk to feed but it's jus too little to feed. I will try my best to giv her more !! I found out when I was about to bath at nite n I was very happy n I told hubby about it ! Tmr I shall breastfeed Jamie !! Feels so anxious about it !!

心灰意冷

Seriously I really dun understand or know how it happened. How can u add someone on fb n u won't noe. Seriously . Plus both r gals ?! Is dat even possible ?!! Yes I dun believe it cus I can't do it so I dun believe it am I wrong wif dat ? Ask u to show me n u said ' if u dun trust me den dun talk to me' ! Am I in d wrong ? Dun talk jiu dun talk. Seriously when I nid someone who is there for me ? No one. So ?! How u wan me to trust u ? U oso nvr care for wad I nid when I'm pregnant. U jus wan d baby. Maybe jus maybe after giv birth I will leave . Since tis is d only thing u wan  den I will leave it to u. I can b alone .

Nvm clothes dun wan wash I can wash myself . Dun like me ? Dats ur problem !!

he has been in camp for a week n we had quarreled 2x over small things. 1st time was about dun use ws den 2nd was about work. seriously work  is work i noe wad i hav to do n nt to do . i had work there for so long i noe them n they noe me so they wont bully me jus dat they hav to treat me a little diff cus nw im pregnant . although i dun feel anything change only me who had change as im pregnant n i cant do a lot of things like carry heavy things, walk fast. almost all d stations i had tried only d fries n batch cook nvr cus all heavy things. really wish dat after i giv birth n they will giv me a mgr post as i nid money. mgr pay is a lot for me as crew pay is very little to support 3 ppl. hope by den everything will does as i planned. i wish to hav our own hse by 2018 cus i really dun wan my baby to sleep wif us in a small room n we dun hav any privacy . i noe dat owning a hse will hav to spend a lot of money so i really nid dat pay . i haven discuss wif him yet but i hope he will agree wif me too hehe !!! when he book out den i will discuss wif him, after i start work baby seems to b less active n i dunno y . isit cus of i focus on work n didnt notice dat she had moved? im really scare anything might happened to her . heard from alvi n shirley dat by screening can check d weight of baby so nxt check up i will ask d doc about dat cus a lot ppl say my baby very small but d doc told me everything are fine so i assume she is growing healthy inside my womb  . hahahaha